In
connection with our sermon series in 1 Peter, we asked a
number of people if they could provide us with some
insights – some things that they have learned – as a
result of extremely difficult times that they have
endured or are enduring. Very few of us cruise through
life without difficulty. Difficulties come.
Some of us learn from them, others do not. Some
are derailed by them, others are enriched by them.
The
question we asked was this;
“What important lessons have you learned during times of
extreme difficulty that you believe you would never have
learned had the difficulties never come”?
1. From a person
who has endured ridicule and been the object of finger
pointing as a result of challenges in her family:
I believe that we have the ability in Christ to be confident
in all our circumstances, but I also know that in my
case this truth became a reality in my life through a
progression.
The verse “My grace is all you need. My power works best in
weakness.” often came to me in deepest trials, and to my
shame I often resented it. But, it was the rest of the
verse that got me... “...so now I am glad to boast about
my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work
through me”. Once I accepted this, God gave me the
strength to be confident in His grace.
We have passed through deep humiliation and shame (and still
do) in our family; I used to ask the Lord why? Well now
I know why, there were many lessons to be learnt and I
praise and thank Him that He loved me enough to teach
me.
2. From an
individual living with a diagnosis of terminal cancer:
·
I have learned that God is sovereign. I am
completely at His mercy.
·
Facing tough times is not necessarily bad. It
builds character.
·
I realize how blessed I am with so many friends,
many of whom have only a short history with me. They
have reached and reached.
·
Pain has given me a deeper insight into other
people's problems and disappointments.
·
In the last year and a half God has opened doors
that I could not have imagined before.
·
God is indeed a God of miracles.
3. From a man
whose wife (a mother of 5 teenagers) was diagnosed with
cancer 13 years ago:
I often wonder why God has chosen us for the blessing of
life, when more loved ones than I can count have
contracted cancer and died in the almost 13 years we've
battled. I've been told of many who have been
strengthened and blessed while God has used our struggle
for their benefit, and I know the untold blessing will
be greater than any that could be counted if there had
been a miraculous healing 12 years ago.
One thing that is the hardest (for me at least) to
learn, is that my trust must be entirely in God. I must
not base my hope on anything else. God may direct us to
use something for help, but my hope must be truly in Him
and not the "something". Time and time again I have
found my hope resting on something else. Nothing
works without Him - everything works with Him.
4. From someone
who experienced unexpected job loss:
My professional career was going great. Over 24 years,
I had enjoyed a healthy career progression through a
variety of responsibilities. Then I was "head-hunted"
into a major transportation firm as Director of
Personnel Development - a newly-created position,
designed to modernize their personnel philosophy and
practices. Unknown to me, this placed me in the career
path of a very powerful, ambitious, and ruthless vice
president. Over the six years during which I survived in
that company, he and his boss did everything they could
to discredit our department's work. Then one Friday
afternoon in June, I was fired. That was my toughest
career experience.
So what did I learn?
In
short, a successful change agent must take the time to
understand the people he is trying to "help" and to
adopt strategies with which those people can identify.
I learned that friends arise in unexpected places. I
shall always be profoundly grateful to the people who,
in a wide variety of ways, helped me set up my
management consulting office and even offered me new
career opportunities.
I learned a lot about myself, both strengths and
weaknesses, and was able to use this experience in my
subsequent consulting practice.
Most important, I learned how supportive the Christian
community can be, especially in tough times. When our
Pastor learned of my termination, he immediately invited
me to give my testimony the following Sunday morning at
church. I struggled with Romans 8:28, which we love to
quote in someone else's misfortune! But God had designed
that Sunday service just for me.
Now, 12 years into retirement after 18 years of a very
fulfilling career as a management consultant, I can say
with the Apostle Paul, "Forgetting those things which
are behind and looking forward to those things which are
before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the
high calling of God in Christ Jesus."
5. From someone
who cares for a severely disabled teenaged child:
It's a perfect day to
respond to something like this. I only got two hours of
sleep last night. I was either up with Mark or trying to
sleep as he yattered over the monitor. Last clock check
was 4 a.m.
Then, promptly at 6 AM I was wakened by Lynn, who
informed me that her little brother had a dirty diaper.
Linda and I take turns and last night just happened to
be my turn. All this to say, that today I felt the
weight.
I
often say that without that the very special
circumstances that God has allowed or even fashioned for
my life, I would not be able to know and experience Him
the way I have. Some days that experience is just like
the dudes in the fiery furnace, other days are not so
courageous; either way Jesus walks with me.
6. From someone
who had a career reversal early in life:
Some may say that we all have “our cross to bear” I
have found that prayer, pleading with and to God,
somehow, and I don't know how, brings us through. Or at
least brings us to the next hour and another day. It is
very, very hard to learn what Paul learned, that the
"thorn in the flesh" is not taken away. Finding God's
grace sufficient can be a hard thing, and I don't know
if Paul ever thanked God for his "thorn in the flesh".
Maybe in when he left the mortal side of life?
And
looking back, I can see many times, when like Joseph, I
have been able to say that "within God's will and plan,
it was for the good”. I remember how my career (as it
was) became derailed. After a number of years of
struggle I started another great and long career. The
struggle between the two careers caused me to pause and
go to university. I then taught school – again, as an
interim step. This helped me learn so many things that
I might well not have learned otherwise. It prepared me
for the career that was my lifelong vocation.
7.
From a person who has struggled with the health of a
child and an unfaithful spouse:
My journey has been gradual.....not one great epiphany. My
13 year old son keeled over one day out of the blue. He
experienced a complete left sided stroke: paralysis,
loss of speech. At the time, I knew about our Lord, but
there was no active relationship. My children were at
Emmanuel and oddly enough the first phone call I made
from the hospital was to the principal of the school. I
asked him to have the school pray for my son. Only
later did I wonder about my reflex to do that. As soon
as I could leave the hospital, I went to the school and
was enveloped by staff and administration in prayer. It
was really uncomfortable as I had not myself prayed, yet
I knew there was something about this group of people
that was different and I needed to be with them. End of
that story (by the way, he recovered completely after
about 2 months).
As time progressed, and with the urging of a few friends I
started coming to Westview. Slowly questions were
answered, cynical feelings were let go. I was going
through a very difficult time with my marriage. I had
known for years that my former husband was having an
affair. We had been to counselling; I had been to
counselling alone. I spoke many times with the pastoral
staff here and eventually had the courage to ask my
husband to leave. Still my foundations were weak in my
trusting God. I spent more time reading scripture, spent
more time alone and finally I came to a point of knowing
I was OK. I was able to find great peace and love and
trust and faith in Jesus that he would take care of me
and that everything in my life is unfolding as it was
meant to. I have had many friends ask how I cope or why
I am so easy going.....I have come to understand that
this "new" me is because I am CONFIDENT that the Lord
will take care of me and not harm me. I sometimes feel
lonely and have moments of sadness for what I have lost
(a marriage partner), but it is then that I spend more
time in prayer and more time with my Bible and journal
and I find great peace and comfort. I know the plans the
Lord has for me will be great and I pray that I will
remain strong and unwavering in faith.
8. From a
successful business person who has endured health and
employment reversals in the last year:
-
Know what your real treasures are and look after
them carefully:
Living in a materialistic world we are so often
caught up in how much money we earn, what title we
have, the area we live in, where we vacation etc.
that we forget to look after ourselves emotionally,
physically and spiritually.
It
was not until our health was affected that we realized
just how important a gift that is and how quickly all
aspects of life can be impacted when we no longer are in
good health. We have become far more passionate for
people who are ill and in poor health. Through all of
this we have come to value other intangibles such as
joy, love and the peace that comes from knowing God.
-
God will get your attention in ways that will
challenge your thinking:
I know that over the years I have fitted God into my
life and thought I was doing o.k. It was only when I
was forced to slow down and it became clear to me
that, in fact, I was not fitting in with His plans!
-
Growth comes through change:
God is in the business of moulding us as a potter
does clay. Too often we get stuck in the way we
think, how we act, our routine, how we deal with our
relationships and so on. I know from experience that
I was stagnating in my personal development over the
past three years and was not sure how to change the
situation. Through the course of events over the
past 9 months I have had to deal with more change
than seemed possible at times. Looking back, I will
say it has also been a time of growth I treasure.
Yes, change is often unpleasant, but it sure does
re-shape who you are.
9. From someone
who had to face a very unexpected health issue:
When I first came to Westview a number of years ago, I had an
annoying persistent pain in one knee. I was floored when
the doctor looked at my x-rays and told me, "You'd
better sit down. You have a tumor the size of a pear in
your femur just above the knee!" Of course my wife and
I were quite upset. That night, we looked at the Daily
Bread for that day. The featured verse just happened to
be, "Cast all your anxieties upon Him for He cares for
you!" That's just what we did and as others prayed along
with us, I felt a peace that got me through the next 6
months. God seemed to be especially close while I went
through that valley and I completely trusted God for
what whatever he wanted to do in my life.
The surgery turned out to be very successful and the tumor,
although very destructive, was benign.
What did I learn from this experience?
My faith in God grew tremendously and I learned that God not
only cares, but he is especially close to his children
when they need him most, if they are completely
trusting in him.
10. From someone
who faced medical and employment issues simultaneously:
The most challenging time of my adult life was in the time
frame Sept 2000 through October 2001.
During September 2000 I was diagnosed with Asthma, rare for
an adult. December 2000 was my spinal fracture, which
required a brace for 3½ months while stoned on
painkillers, which prevented me from working. Finally
on my return to work after a few months they let me know
my services would not be required any longer.
Needless to say almost constant pain, frustration,
depression, and now facing even further financial ruin.
Thankfully when doors are closed, windows usually open. In
absolute desperation one day I went for a walk in our
neighbourhood to help relieve the pain in my back, on my
way I started to talk to God, choking back the tears I
asked “Why has this happened, Why did you let this
happen, I am at rock bottom I need to you to speak in my
life and give direction to me and help support my
family” As lonely and lost as I felt at that time, then
I felt God with me in a way that I had not felt for
years. Like He was walking with me side by side.
It was like I needed to go to rock bottom to open MY Eyes, so
God could walk side by side with me in my life.
Since then I still live with asthma, back Issues that flair
up frequently, but we are solidly committed to our work
in God’s Kingdom and willing to respond to His call.
11. From a
successful professional who had to learn to stop relying
on himself alone:
Trust...trust...
My wife and I learned to really trust on 2 specific
occasions...
·
1When we clearly disobeyed the Lord in an early
career decision...took things into my own hands...God
lead us on our "exodus thru the desert"...made us
realize that without HIM forget it...it ain't gonna
work!
·
When one of our children was 2 years old, and on
the brink of death from a then not yet recognized very
rare disease...what an incredible peace that overcame us
once we realized that God was in control...
Just trust...easier said than done...I know...
12.
From someone who has endured a number of personal and
relational challenges:
My
life seems to always be a series of trials, some end
positively, and some really negatively, as I perceive
the results. I think the gravity of each of them,
depends on how God knows I will react to them. That
famous line- 'God only gives you what he knows you can
handle' seems to be more and more true.
Every person's trials and difficulties are relative
to each individual person and no one else. What I think
of as "the end of my world", may simply be a little
hiccup to someone else. What I perceive as fairly simple
to me, another looks at, and wonders how I got through
it.
Through my trials, I have learned more about love,
patience, humility (some), and mostly about forgiveness
(in my case, this still needs work!). I have been
blessed with some answers to problems that I have faced
and some that I am still facing, but I know that God is
guiding me. This is from the way he lets me continue
through them, people that he has sent to encourage me,
people around me who also change, and the way I feel his
presence in it all.
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